Had been looping Christmas-y songs by After School and AKB48 (omfzg) since yesterday that I really do think I'm crazy especially when I'm not a fan of happy tracks nor a Christmas person.

And YAY! A multi-coloured!happy blogskin finally. Plus it features Nana from After School! She's totally one of my favourite girls because she's so pretty and doll-like (i'm a shallow person *__*). Had always wanted to try something grey-scale with at least 3 colours, but they are forever ended up gloomy, dark, and just plain and white fml. It's snowing too wtf lol. By the way, I had a TVXQ layout done and coded as well :D because their special day is arriving and I miss them.



After all the ballads downloaded and played over and over again, after all the tears shed and dried and after all the encouragements said to oneself, it was embarrassing to admit that after the so many days I had lost count of, I did not feel better, not slightly, not at all.

I've no idea how to soothe this too unfamiliar ache in my heart and I admire those who are capable of carrying this painful sorrow with a smile on their faces everyday. 


I'm feeling like saudade—

A word difficult to translate adequately, which describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which is lost. It often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might really never return.

As a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist ... a turning towards the past or towards the future".

As "the love that remains" or "the love that stays" after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone or something that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence.

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Had been looping Christmas-y songs by After School and AKB48 (omfzg) since yesterday that I really do think I'm crazy especially when I'm not a fan of happy tracks nor a Christmas person.

And YAY! A multi-coloured!happy blogskin finally. Plus it features Nana from After School! She's totally one of my favourite girls because she's so pretty and doll-like (i'm a shallow person *__*). Had always wanted to try something grey-scale with at least 3 colours, but they are forever ended up gloomy, dark, and just plain and white fml. It's snowing too wtf lol. By the way, I had a TVXQ layout done and coded as well :D because their special day is arriving and I miss them.



After all the ballads downloaded and played over and over again, after all the tears shed and dried and after all the encouragements said to oneself, it was embarrassing to admit that after the so many days I had lost count of, I did not feel better, not slightly, not at all.

I've no idea how to soothe this too unfamiliar ache in my heart and I admire those who are capable of carrying this painful sorrow with a smile on their faces everyday. 


I'm feeling like saudade—

A word difficult to translate adequately, which describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which is lost. It often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might really never return.

As a "vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist ... a turning towards the past or towards the future".

As "the love that remains" or "the love that stays" after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. It can be described as an emptiness, like someone or something that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence.

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